Lesson No. 2 - Connectivity

All day today, I've been trying to decide what I would write about for this evening's entry--Which lesson would I focus on? Well, I've learned that people are truly motivated by self-interest. Would that be it? Or how about how we cannot change others? Or what about how we should never let ourselves be bogged down by anger?

All great topics, and I think I can write intellingently and movingly about any of them. But I can't say that I really want to write about any of them right now.

This morning, I'd taken my two youngest sons to synagogue, and I hoped that I'd be inspired by the Rabbi's sermon...but no, I didn't even get to hear it, since I was helping out in the kitchen instead.

At lunch, though, I stumbled across something that counts as a lesson, but didn't realize it until now...It has to do with our need to be connected. At shul after services, a family I hadn't met before joined the boys and myself as we enjoyed our kiddush luncheon (and what a great pasta salad today!). The family was "shul shopping," and are in the midst of trying out several synagogues to see which they wanted to join.

I told the woman that I see our synagogue as having an especially involved congregation. Part of that might stem from the fact that we do not have a cantor (someone who sings the prayers). Instead, we have a large number of people in the congregation who step up to lead different prayers. (As well, we happen to have a Rabbi who has a very nice singing voice.) But the other reason is that the members of our synagogue are involved, they are connected. For example, there is a regular group who helps out in the kitchen, there are volunteer parents who lead the younger children's services, and there is a large turnout each week, helped, I'm sure, by the kiddush luncheon itself. But that's okay--this meal gives us each a chance to meet and connect with others in our community.

And that fills a need that I believe we all have. America is very large. Families are often spread far apart. We don't always know our neighbors. And as we read in the papers, those students who spray their classmates and faculty with bullets are never emotionally connected to their educational community. Connections are hard to come by, but they are essential. Being a part of something adds to our sense of identity. And living in a community, I think, implies an obligation towards that community. I know that when I feel responsible towards others in terms of the actions I take, I am more circumspect about those actions. And in this world, where too many people are motivated by self-gratification and nothing more, motivation due to obligation is, I think, a wonderful thing.

My lesson for today has to do with belonging to a community where we can contribute and connect. It is important and worth the time and effort involved. It is important for us, for our sense of self-worth and of self-respect. It is also important to us, due to our need to be connected, noticed, appreciated, wanted, and needed. As well, belonging to a community is important for the community itself, for without the time and effort put forth by its members, the community itself cannot be maintained.