Fresh start

Never a big believer in New Year's resolutions, this year I am going to take advantage of this newly-turned calendar page to make differences in my personal and work life. I've always thought that there are strong parallels between how families and businesses should be managed...and I've always thought that there's a book somewhere inside of me on this topic.

This year I'll put both theories to the test as I document the lessons I corral.

Let the fun begin!

Reinventing myself, my blog

I'm trying to put together a side business which could grow into a full time one someday.

Communications, Marketing, PR, whatever a small business or non-profit needs in order to reach more customers, enlist more members, grow...get its point across.

I've started a Twitter account, which is still eclectic, noting everything from nifty websites (how I love those!) to deals and bargains. I tend to follow a few distinct camps on Twitter--radio personalities, idea makers, writing and design people, bargainistas and people who know where the deals are, and a helpful PR service, as well as the only client I've had so far (and who says he'll be using more of my services--I hope so).

I've also begun speaking. Well, I presented at a regional conference for Proposal Management Professionals. My topic was online resources, and it was so well received that I've been invited to present it again to another region, this time virtually. Very exciting. I so love to research useful websites, and this presentation is essentially a collection of them, each one an asset to Proposal Managers (as well as writers, editors, graphic designers, and more). My attitude is always, "Why reinvent the wheel?" First, find out what's been done already. My only concern is that I cannot distinguish between the well-known and lesser known sites or even identify the gaps in my knowledge, as my sleuthing is self-directed. But again, seasoned Proposal Managers told me they learned something from my session. Very encouraging.

I found a Life Coach on LinkedIn who is needs hours with people to satisfy certification requirements, and so, I don't have to pay. He's helping me crystallize what steps I need to take to make this thing--my own business--happen. Paramount for me is to be able to do it while still working full time. I cannot be without the security of a paycheck and the benefits.

And yes, money is tight, and will get tighter. And so I'm looking to earn on the side. Whether it's a single client or digital dollars, it doesn't matter. e-rewards.com allows me to answer surveys and earn dollars redeemable for magazine subscriptions, Blockbuster movies and Delta Skymiles. Using the swagbucks.com search tool earns me dollars for gift cards and other stuff too. FrugalFreebiesandDeals.com throws me an occasional freebie lead. YouData.com allows me to look at online ads and earn actual money into my PayPal account. and there are others. (In fact, I want to check out what these articles have to say: http://www.moneymakingmommy.com/earnonline/index.html and http://entrepreneurs.about.com/od/homebasedbusiness/a/makemoneyonline.htm). But I don't want this to take the place of developing my own business. And so I need to organize my time to ensure I make progress on all fronts every day. Actually, that was part of my homework assignment for my Life Coach--creating a schedule.

A few more nifty websites (next time I'll give an update on life)

Very useful: http://chronicle.com/article/TuitionFees-2009-10/48879 First register, and then you can compare costs of different colleges (tuition & fees OR tuition, feels, room & board). Very useful in Georgia, where if kids graduate HS with a B average, they get a HOPE scholarship, which pays for tuition and most fees at any public school. So one number - the other= out-of-pocket expenses for college.

So much fun! http://www.oddcast.com/demos/tts/tts_tran_example.php a Translator speaks via an avatar. Type in a sentence in one language and he or she will say it in another.

It's been too long

So...the last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. Lots of stuff going on, at work, at home. The boys are well, and that's most important. In fact, the oldest suddenly got a decent grade on an AP Physics test :-) and tomorrow night I plan on taking him to a college fair.

Will get back to the habit of writing more regularly, once it's okay to do so...

A few nifty websites

www.freeconferencepro.com allows you to hold free conference calls. Useful for small businesses, volunteer organizations, or neighbors planning a block party! :-)

www.volunteermatch.org allows you to find volunteer opportunities for you, your kids, groups you are involved with who are looking for good deeds to do. Virtual opportunities are available in addition to onews near your location, and I actually decided to brush up on my editing skills and volunteered to edit some pieces for the Caffeine Awareness Association (www.caffeineawareness.org). Turns out that the pieces will be included in a book coming out next year, and I will receive an acknowledgement in the book. Nice. Makes me think what a great thing this website is, not only for kids looking for mitzvah projects or beta clubs at schools, but for jobhunters wishing to keep their skills sharp, their resume populated, and their network growing. By the same token, people involved with non-profits might want to list open projects; they may attract volunteers.

www.halfoffdepot.com exists in a few cities, includidng Atlanta, and is growing. It's a great way to purchase gift cards at half price. Subscribe to their newsletter and follow them on twitter for more deals.

Update

So...son #1 participated in the GA Tech Summer Career Discovery Program I mentioned in my last post (yes, I know, over a month ago). Even though he didn't come back each day over enthused, I think it was a good thing to do. My purpose was to expose him to a possible career choice (and a possible college). In another week or so, he leaves for another one of the programs listed, a Materials Science camp in Ohio. That one is actually free, and will expose him to lab-based work. During the other weeks of the summer, he is working as a counselor in our synagogue preschool's camp. Last week he was a buddy to one of the campers, a special needs girls. On Friday, I went inside to pick him up and was told by the director and another counselor how great he is and loved by the kids. On Shabbat, I went to shul with my youngest, and the parents of the girl told me how much she just adored him.

I have to take Son #1 to a GI doctor after he returns from Ohio. Routine bloodwork came back off. Cholesterol was high, which has happened in the past. Usually strictly watching what he eats is enough to bring it back down. But this time, his calcium and ALT were high too. So we did more blood work, checking a whole bunch of other things. Lipid profile and VAP for a better look at the cholesterol. Phosphorous, ionized calcium, and PHT (or is it PTH?) to see if the reason the calcium was high had to do with his parahyperthyroid. Iron profile too. And a liver ultrasound.

Calcium numbers are fine. But iron was high and liver is fatty. So, next stop the GI doctor.


p.s. if you want, you can follow me on twitter: @wendybritt

Great summer programs for high schoolers, some free

Natural Resources Conservation Workshop Camp takes place at Abraham Baldwin Agricultural College in Tifton, GA during June 7 - 11, 2009. Registration Deadline is May 15, 2009 (THIS FRIDAY) and is for high school students entering the 10th, 11th or 12th grade in the Fall 2009. At the end of the week, there are quizzes, and based on them, they give out $16,000 in scholarships. (I wish my son was interested in the great outdoors...)

The application is at http://www.abac.edu/psbo/nrcw/2009%20NRCW%20Application.pdf. It costs $150, but local Natural Resource Conservation offices usually pay the fee. And there's a bus to bring the kids and taken them back afterwards. Links to the local NRC office (I think its representative needs to sign the application, not sure), what to bring, history of the program (they've been doing this for 41 years), etc. are at the first link, above. The program is a mix of outdoors field trips, classroom learning, meeting with people in the fields, and recreation time...and scholarships.

Career Discovery Program in Architecture at GA Tech's School of Architecture (probably too late for this year) http://www.coa.gatech.edu/news/event.php?id=3992 $600 for two weeks, non-residential. Seems other arhcitecture schools aroudn the country offer similar ones.

Materials Science Camp for Students, offered in different locations. http://asmcommunity.asminternational.org/portal/site/www/Foundation/Students/Camps/ Free (must be accepted). Residential ones are offered at NC State, Penn State, Missouri University of Science and Technology, and at the headquarters of ASMI in Ohio (that's where my son will be attending). Materials science is a kind of engineering. (Science teachers should be told about it too--they also offer camps for teachers, I think free too.)

Many more at http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/summer-programs/614543-free-excellent-scholarship-summer-programs-2.html, including some at the CDC and a Marie Walsh Sharpe Seminar in colorado--for art. These are free. I so want my son to apply to the Marie Walsh Sharpe Seminar next summer...

http://www.suekayton.com/summerprograms.htm

http://smysp.stanford.edu/family/summerPrograms.html

http://www.nasa.gov/offices/education/programs/descriptions/All_Alpha_prt.htm

http://www.dedicatedengineers.org/Resources/summer_programs.htm this one has a very comprehensive list

Great website and quick update

Great website http://www.glassdoor.com/ Go there and plug in your current salary or past one, as well as a review, and the door will open for a year, giving you access to others' info. I can see what others at my company make or think and I can see how others at different companies do/feel in similar lines of work.

Quick update
Not good. I'm getting near the point where the bad may outweigh the good in the marriage. What was Obama's slogan about time for change? Well, it's NOW! Work, too, is frustrating. I am beginning to see it's a job, not a career. No room for advancement and too many decisions made regarding the daily processes my department goes through -- without our input. The message is clear: we are admins, nothing more, nothing less. Given the economy, it's a crappy time to be dissatisfied.

Getting back into the groove

It's been too longed since I've blogged. Everything we choose to do (or not do) is a matter of priority, and I guess blogging has slipped. I've let Facebook, LinkedIn, real life (work, kids, etc.) take over.

It's also not a hopeful time, so I haven't been "in the mood" to write to the world (okay, my world of next to nobody).

Work is cutting costs. Luckily no widespread firings, but pensions have been frozen, 401Ks will no longer be matched through the end of the year, and no raises in 2009. Dividends to shareholders remain uncut and the company is doing relatively well; they say they want to keep it that way. I think that cutting dividends would send a message of concern to the shareholders and they don't want to do that...especially since all the top executives hold quite a bit of shares themselves, and so keeping share value is one of their priorities. (Am I getting cynical?)

Bonuses were first distributed before the steps were announced (well, we'll ge thtem in the next paycheck), but now they're "retention payments" and if someone voluntarily leaves before three years go by, he or she has to return the pro-rated amount. Bonuses for lower level employees like myself (and I've got to face it, that's what I am) were relatively low (although mine was the same as last year). With a new rating system in place, some people were eligible to only receive half of what they'd received last year, so I count myself lucky. Ont he other hand, others in my office received bonuses larger than my annual salary (and stocks)!

I've always wanted to move ahead, but haven't been sure the best way how. Thinking education might be the way, I began looking at obtaining a professional designation, but was told last year that the company won't pay for it if it's not relevant to my job. And it's not; I'm not a broker. Then I found out how an upper level person is having his MBA paid for--and it's not necessary for his job, or he wouldn't be in that job already, no?

Frustrating. I want to stay at the company I'm at, progress, move ahead. But my position is really dead-end and while the company speaks of "career development," I think they are giving lip service to the idea when it pertains to anyone other than brokers. I just don't think that I want to become a broker.

Given the economy, this is not the time to be frustrated, but to go to work, do my job well and just shut up.

Changing topics, let's talk about health. My mother is doing better, although adjusting to a life of Coumadin hasn't been easy, especially since she needed vascular surgery due to the way the hospital didn't put the IV in properly when she was there and she's had recurrent bloody noses and cauterizations. Over two months since the open heart surgery, and she still needs frequent Coumadin testing. Very frustrating for her too...

I need to go in and have a procedure done in a few weeks. Nothing major (outpatient), but still general anesthesia. Before then, though, I have to deal with Passover. We're up to 25 people altogether and I have a lot of cleaning and cooking to do. Can't wait until the family is all here, but not looking forward to getting everything done first!

I've scheduled a half-day spa day for my mother and me the day after the first seder. There is a school for these services which I discovered a few years back, and they charge far less than spas do, since it's students providing the services (with supervision). We did this a few years ago and it was great. My mother so loves these kinds of mother-daughter things, and I like to see her enjoying herself.

Well, after so long, I've about done it for now. Good night!

Update on my life, my mother's health

This Thursday is my mother's heart surgery; it will take about six hours. Today I read up on what to expect afterwards--what's allowed and not. I called my mother to tell her that for six weeks she cannot drive a car, but can be a passenger. Even more importantly, I told her, she cannot ride a bicycle or a motorcycle. We laughed. She can't do either of those things now, and certainly has no interest in getting on a Harley!

For the last few weeks, I've been stuffed up a bit, and have even felt a heavines in my chest the last week or so, affecting my breathing. I mentioned it on my facebook status, and quite a few people guessed that I was having an anxiety attack. Nope. It's bronchitis, and I'm now on antibiotics and steroids. It's wonderful discovering that things that I'm afraid might be in my head aren't.

Like a few weeks ago, I went to a University's Eye Center since for the last year my eyes have not been working together well, especially when I read. When I was young, I suffered from lazy eye in both eyes, and this was similar, I guess, although I don't remember ever having focussing issues. I went to an opthamologist a number of months back, and he told me I was getting old and need reading glasses, but to put off if I could. Then I went to my optometrist, thinking maybe my contacts weren't settling properly in my eyes when I shifted from looking at soemthing far to something closer, and we really spent almost two months trying out different lenses. But within a few weeks, it was happening again. So, off to the University.

I was diagnosed with Convergence Insufficiency. It means my eyes don't come together. The problem isn't with the eyes, but the muscles around them. I now do computer-based exercises. And if they don't work, I will need surgery. What thrills me about this, is that they may serve as an explanation for the headaches I've been having for the last few years. Not migraines. Not iron-deficient-anemia related (although my iron is low again). But muscle strain. And this means they will go away when my eyes are fixed.

It's not in my head.

So...Wednesday I leave for New York, and my husband will watch the boys for the ten days I am gone. I just hope they all get along well and that everything goes smoothly.

Well, I must go do my exercises tonight, before heading off to never never land.

A ray of light on the horizon

We're beginning to work on a compromise, and an understanding, but we're not all the way there yet.

New Year already at an all-time low

I'm afraid it's all over. And what kills me is that it didn't have to be this way.

I so don't want to put the kids through this again. They've already weathered one divorce and being uprooted and brought to an unknown place. And the truth is, that they've done an admirable job of adapting and even flourishing. It wouldn't be fair to subject them to any of that again.

Without someone to talk to, it's all bottled up inside. It would be nice to be able to speak to him about everything, but conversations aren't productive and snowball into ugly all too often. Much as I want to be able to unload, I cannot speak to anyone close to either one of us, as I don't want to permanently darken anyone's opinion, should we be able to work this out. And so I keep it inside.

The thought crossed my mind of being able to use this blog. Isn't that what it's for? But much as I aim to not reveal identifying details, those who know of this blog through me outnumber any other kind of reader, I imagine. And so, I would give too much away.

I'm about to cry again, and don't want to--not in front of the kids who are playing Guitar Hero in the very same room (one son bought it for another, for his birthday--I am so glad they like each other and enjoy each other's company so much...). Let me go check on the third, who's in another room...

Happy New Year.

Reprint of Lesson No. 7 - Finding Chanukah

This originally ran on December 4, 2007:

Every year, newspapers carry a story on the day of the first evening of Chanukah, announcing to the world that tonight's the night the Jewish people light their menorah. Usually the article recaps the story of the Maccabees, and often carries a quote from someone in the Jewish community about how Chanukah is actually a minor historical holiday (and not as big a deal as marketers and the less enlightened make it out to be).

Underneath it all, the irony often gets lost.

The Greeks wouldn't let the Jews practice their religion, and went so far as to desecrate their Temple.

The Jews had an uprising, and got their defiled synagogue back.

The rest everyone knows: the Temple was a mess, they cleaned it up, they wanted to light the candelabra but found only enough oil to last one day, and miracle of miracles, it lasted eight.

Fast forward a number of thousand years to present day US: families light the menorah, sing a song, eat oily food and give presents, not just a little gelt (coins, these days often of chocolate), but over-the-top presents. There are families who do nothing more Jewish all year besides "celebrate" Chanukah. There are those who may even know about the miracle of the oil, but give no thought as to why we needed to reclaim the temple. They just know it means eight days of presents.

The irony to me is clear: The story of Chanukah, the Maccabeen uprising, represents the fight to preserve Judaism, so that the people could safely and openly believe, pray, be observant, be different.

Modern day Chanukah, however, looks like an attempt to fit in with the rest. It is an attempt to suppress the differences. "But," say the parents, "our child has asked to take a picture with Santa."

So? I see nothing wrong with explaining, "They do what they do and we do what we do. We are all different."

Being different is good. Being different grants you a unique perspective...and identity. Being different is worth fighting over, wouldn't you say?

Lesson No. 19 - How to Grow Good Parents

I believe that children either become parents like their own, or they turn 180 degrees in the opposite direction (as a reaction against).

I draw two conclusions from this:
1. To become a parent who is either like or completely unlike our own, requires conscious effort and learned behaviors.
2. To make sure that our own child's default tendency to mimic what he grew up with actually serves him or her well is all the more reason why it is important for us to do the right thing, behave in a positive way, serve as a good model.

I personally took a lot away from books by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, such as How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, for example:

* Let the kids acquire the tools to work it out themselves. Resolving issues helps them how to manage in social situations, negotiate outcomes, etc. as they grow older.
* Let natural consquences occur. If they forgot their lunch at home, don't go to school with it; they'll remember next time.
* Let kids become resilient. Let them know disappointment. When a college professor or a boss criticizes them or their work, they need to know how to deal with it, learn from it, without falling apart. Children who are shielded from sadness or the word "no," will not be in as strong a position as those who understand that it is a natural part of life.

The bottom line is that it is our job to provide our children with the tools they need so that they can function well as adults. One way we can do that is by acquiring the right language, attitude, thought processes now, so that not only can we understand how our actions impact upon our children, but we can modify our own behavior in order to help our children grow into good parents as well.

A few great websites

First one is not only for job hunters, but for freelancers. It's called VisualCV and allows you to post your resume, with added multimedia, online. How cool is that! A friend told me about it.

Sales
Like many others, I try to make some extra money. One place online where I have a few items for sale (a very few) is my CafePress site. Scroll down for some nice notecards... (I know, the pickings are slim--If I ever find time, I'll be more creative and make other stuff, I promise!) In the meantime, if you have any request, please leave a comment here and let me know. I'll make what you want! CafePress is a fun site--you can create things for yourself, or to sell to others, or you can buy from the gazillions of items and designs they have there.

I also try to make some money in another way--as an Associate for Amazon. But that's only through this blog. If someone clicks on the name or picture of a book, and then purchases something from Amazon, I'll earn a very small percentage. So far...I've earned 79 cents! But hey, if you're planning on going to Amazon anyway, please click on a link at the left! I may someday hit the minimum I need for them to actuallly pay me ($10)! (I don't think I've earned anything from the Google ads I allow on the blog.)

Relatively speaking, most lucrative for me in terms of sales is eBay. I've started lately putting things on my own eBay site, and though my latest auctions finished on Tuesday, I'll be putting stuff up in a few more days--a mix of news and used.

Fun shopping
http://www.wishingfish.com/
http://www.delight.com/
http://www.thinkgeek.com/

Please also see another listing of very cool websites that I listed in September.

Do you have any other suggestions?

Current Reading

I'm reading a book which my middle son recommended to me. It's written for teenagers, and I think every teen and every parent should read it. I recognize it's a bit slanted, but the information is still powerful and may impact on behavior and decision-making.

The book is called Chew On This: Everything You Don't Want to Know About Fast Food and is about the fast food industry.

The author starts with the first hamburger place and moves on to the explosive growth of McDonald's. Ray Croc would take helicopter rides to identify good locations near schools. He knew the way to increase growth was to get more children through the door. And he used many means.

There is also a chapter discussing the meatpacking industry and slaughterhouses, and how so much of it changed with the coming of the McNugget.

I'm in the middle of a chapter on obesity. I explained to my son that while the fast food industry may market their products in very pervasive and persuasive ways, it doesn't take away from parental and personal accountability regarding food choices. When children are small, decision-making falls on the parents. When kids are in high school and eating garbage daily, they need to take responsibility.

A must-read. Good for starting meaningful discussions with your family.

It happened again

There I was, sitting in a closet crying, thinking, "What's wrong with this picture?"

We each see things from our own perspective, and they obviously don't mesh.

We may not hear what the other is trying to say, but I certainly heard words I didn't want to. Again.

I'm too drained to deal with this now...

No life lessons here today, except for think before you speak. Make sense, not hurt. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

The meaning of life

I have no idea.

I used to think it had to do with leaving a legacy--which could be done through life-impacting career, a meaningful body of work, the arts, or your children--something to leave behind you, so that you would be remembered.

But perhaps not. Perhaps the meaning of life has only to do with being a good person and doing the right thing.

At the same time, one needs to be fulfilled. Knowing I'm doing a good job raising three good kids, three boys, whom I believe will function well in life and be able to deal with whatever is thrown at them, is good. But it's not enough. I need satisfaction that comes with getting paid well (being recognized) for doing a good job. (Funny when it comes to work, how men typically associate self worth with payscale and women with job satisfaction. I want to get paid well and have a senior position, dammit!)

But is fulfillment more of a question of self-worth than of the meaning of life? I think so. So what's the meaning of life? What gives your life meaning?

...You know...if you can't answer the question, you can just change the questions and ask something else instead!

Warm and fuzzy?

Feeling warm and fuzzy? Want to connect to someone else?

If you think so, you can buy these notecards in my fairly empty "store."

Yes, I should be doing real work now, instead of playing around.

Or actually, instead of heading home!

Good night.

What's next?

Two days after the elections, and I've debated putting in my two cents on the candidates or on my process of reaching a decision (which took me until the very end to do). But I think not. Not sure if delineating the weaknesses I saw in each of the candidates and parties would be productive in any way.

What is truly commendable is the amount of people who voted. I haven't seen statistics yet, of what percentage of the population. But this election brought out so many first-time voters of all ages, engaged so many in the political process, and that is certainly a good thing.

An interesting sidenote to this election--so many people wanted momentos of this historic election, that many newspapers sold out, and some were even forced to reprint. Boy, I can imagine how happy the advertisers for yesterday's issues are! In this day and age, when so many newspapers are cutting staff, reducing their page count, breaking their relationships with the AP, it was nice to have a day of increased paper circulation.